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Rarely... think about it.... the man is a cheater, he lies to his wife so he can get away to have sex with another woman...... he is capable of doing that..... so eventually he leaves for the mistress... however, the relationship is based on lies and deceit..... and is she honestly going to trust him? Should she trust him? NO..... its a very bad foundation to start a relationship...... so as I said, it rarely works... what usually happens is the mistress is insecure and drives the guy back to his wife and family...... and their marriage actually gets better.


You are probably not alone on this matter. It happens everywhere. I am deeply sorry that this happen to you. From the looks of your picture I think your beautiful.

When one door closes another door opens. Now that your availble another man will come to you.


SO good to read this question. My husband recently left me for his mistress, I now have to raise our one year old IVF son on my own. I still cannot believe that a man can walk away from their marraige just like that. This was his third affair so really I do now feel lucky to be out of a very bad marriage due to his emotional and verbal abuse. I feel silly for staying with such a horrible man and it took a lot of counselling to get over the shame of being a victim of an abuser for so long.

I hate the mistress so much but now I also pity her and laugh thinking about all the horrible things he will be doing to her. She can put up with all his lies abuse and drug use.

They have only been together for 7 months, but he has lost ALL of his friends and family. I dont know about her but I cant wait for either one of them to cheat on each other. She kicked out her husband for mine in the same week! Both cheaters, imagine what that relationship would be like!


Been there done that and got the t-shirt and yes it bloody well hurts when our husbands do this. There are many reasons and many scenario's, for example is this the first time he strayed, or was he always someone of a flirt.

If he was a bit of a player to start with - though its pain and agony for you to go through, you will come out the other end a stronger woman, a more confident and more able to judge your next partner in a better way. So let the rouge go !

If it was a one off and he suddenly realizes that he has made the biggest mistake of his life and asks to come back, then give it thought and consideration (if that is what you want). It won't be easy and often counseling may well be needed, but one mistake can be rectified and a stronger marriage can come from that - but the culprit has truly got to be sorry and realize that he made the biggest mistake of his life.

If he stays with her, then it's best to settle down, go through the pain and hurt this has caused you, but there is one consolation, the mistress will never be sure of him, for all we women feel and know, that if a man can ditch his wife just like that, she can be ditched too - she won't find the happiness she thinks she may have right now whilst in this heady in love feeling - she will become an insecure woman, and serves her right for stealing another woman's man.

Your worth more than he has given or treated you Honey, remember that, no matter how heart broken you may be feeling now, I just hope there is no children from your marriage, it will make the break easier if not. If they are children then you should not deny him access to them, him though not her, least not until their relationship was long term and reliable.

I wish you the best of luck, at the end of the day we all have to do what is right for us. Don't listen to others who meaning well say things like '' he's a swine, you'd be weak to take him back'', always listen to your own heart and your own needs. Others are not walking in your shoes, the right decision is the one that feels right just for you.


Not often does it work out, or if it does he is usually unfaithful with the new woman but she is either clueless or just doesn't care.


I have never seen them work out. My mom cheated on my dad for years and finally left him. The guy dumped my mom in 6 months.

My ex husband left me for another woman, she dumped him in 5 months. I guess it's Karma. My current husband's ex wife left him for a co-worker, the guy left her, too.

Actually, him leaving with her is the best thing that could've happened because it causes them to break up faster. Anytime I see someone dealing with a cheater, I tell them to let them be together. It breaks them up everytime. The thrill of their relationship is a fantasy. It only works if the wife stays at home. It gives them more passion in the relationship knowing that they are sneaking.

PLUS; They never trust each other, their relationship will never be right. Hold your head up. You are the winner in this situation. If you ever take him back, the mistress will want him again.


if he can cheat on one woman he can cheat on another !

Good luck to her ?


Second marriages have worse odds. Cheaters tend to cheat and they also tend to be suspicious. Women who seek out another woman's husband are not usually loyal and selfless. Extended families and friends tend to frown on affairs and therefore a marriage resulting from one is usually frowned upon which adds a lot of stress to the new marriage. When a mistress becomes a fiancee or wife, she suddenly isn't as wonderful and a lot of men actually even turn to their exes. (I've seen that happen more than once.)

I'd say they never work, but I do know one couple that stayed married after an adulterous beginning. She let him know really quick that she'd get every dime the courts would allow no matter how long it took (the first wife let him walk away easily.) This particular cheater loves money more than any woman he's yet found and the woman is OK with an occassional affair as long as she's got him and his money. If you call that "working out" then I guess that one worked out.