Why would my husband want me to have a threesome with another man?
He has brought this up numerous times and has even posted an ad on craigslist for me to see these people are normal and we could meet them one time and never see them again. First of all the idea of it seems wrong. We have 2 children together and our sex life is not what it was when we first met. I know he means well and he justs wants me to enjoy myself and he thinks it will bring us closer and spice up our sexlife. and i just feel that if thats the case then will normal day to day sex ever be enough for him afterwards? and i also feel like it will break us apart emotionally. In the beginning of our relationship 4 years ago i had an emotional affair, and i have this strong feeling that i will want more from "our toy". my husband says that these guys dont want anything like that they just want to have a good time and be used for a couples enjoyment! i feel like it would be totally akward and i have never had a sexual partner that i just randomly met talked to for a week or so and then we met and had sex..i had an ongoing relationship with all my sexual partners. I just dont think i could handle it! but everytime i say that my husband just thinks i should talk to the guys and not think of it like a relationship its just for us. and i can tell theis is something that he REALLY REALLY wants. and i just dont want to tear us apart whether we do it or not you know..especially bc of our kids! any suggestions? please dont bash him thought lol i love him and he just doesnt understand im not that sexually open i guess..
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Don't be too judgemental of him - it is his fantasy - and it is fun for a guy to pleasure his woman in ways that he can't pleasure her alone. It's kind of like adding a living vibrator for your pleasure.
However, if his intention really is to please you - tell him nicely and sweetly that what would really please you would be to not have the threesome. Do otherstuff for sex - vibrators, perhaps. Watch porn during sex. Whatever you are comfortable with.
There's nothing wrong with this as long as both of you are 100% willing. Since you're not, however, you need to find a solution that works for both of you. Threesomes turn into drama when one of the partners is being dragged in against their will. Since neither one of you wants that kind of drama, your husband should be willing to compromise.
The sex toy idea is great, since it will add a little kink and spice, and he will get to see "someone else" pleasuring you, but you won't have to worry about getting attached (or STDs!). Maybe offer to go shopping with him and let him have a say in which toy you pick out.
Let him know 100%, though, that there will be no threesomes until (and if!) you are 100% comfortable with it. If you think there's any possibility you could be comfortable with it in the far, far future, let him know the topic isn't entirely closed-- just closed for now. That might help him, too.
You husband sounds like he has some issues with your fidelity. It sounds like he is has convinced himself that you will be unfaithful to him. So in order to have some control over the situation he is bringing it up as his "idea" for you to have a good time. He is probably being honest about wanting you to enjoy yourself...he really does - he's afraid he's going to lose his wife. This fear of loss could be the result of the emotional affair you had or just his own insecurities or a combination of both. Whatever the cause, you are not comfortable with his idea, plan, whatever he calls it. SO don't do it.
You are correct to be fearful that this could destroy your marriage. In all probability, it will. No matter what he says now, once he actually see's his fear as a reality - he will be devastated. He'll never look at you the same way again, maybe even not be able to look at you at all. For his own good, don't pursue this fantasy with him.
Tell him your fantasy is to have him spend time with you...maybe.."3 hours a night or at least 8 or 9 hours a night on the weekends." Tell him that to make your fantasies come true - all he needs to do is be there with you - being with you - not playing Video Games. (What's with the Video Games anyway..what is he 12?).
Good Luck - I hope you make the right decision and I hope your marriage survives.
At first glance I would say he wants you to be happy, but in this world full of married men 'coming out', I would be just as suspicious as you are. Usually if a man wants a threesome its with 2 females.
You can not be happy if something doesn't feel right to you; it would be different if you asked for the threesome.
I believe he might be keeping a secret. Be careful!
he's a j'i'z'z gargling homo cuck.
watch - first it will be the other dude effing you.
then he will want to "guide" the dude's d*ck into you.
then he will want to "help get him hard first" by slobbering all over the dude's shaft.
then he will want to lap his sauce out of you.
that's how these cuckolds operate.
it's about THEIR gaywadishness.
he is nuts. he is not doing it for you. and you are going to get trouble once you do it. he will ask you to repeat it. either with a man/woman. this may be just a bait. he is really pushing you dont give in. think you have 2 kids to bring up. i dont think you want yourself to end up as a link in craigslist. those guys are not normal, what they want is only money, they may do what ever they want for money. say a big NO and wait for the reply from his lawyer. you really need a better MAN
Too bad if u crush him u have to put your foot down and tell him that u feel this would b wrong and u have no desire sharing your body with some guy other then him. Your vagina is not a sperm bank. Besides having sex with someone other than your spouse is called f**ing not makeing love.
I think your right about what this will do for you both. Specially seeing how you feel about it. I've known a couple of relationships that have been destroyed over this kind of playing.
Ask him if the two of you can't find another way to accomplish this without another person being involved. Tell him your willing to try anything that doesn't involve someone else being with you.
You might even want to try doing some role playing games to help.