Question

Please can you critique on this sentence?

This is a sentence from a story that deals with prejudice in the world. Does it sound ok and how can I improve it?

It's very randomn by the way.

Prejudice, Lies and hatred are just some of the things that are guaranteed a perpetual growth in our society. Springing from one corner, they stand a greater chance of infecting the adjacent sides than does Love, truth and peace.

Answers

I think you might want to work on your imagery. I understand that you are working with a box concept, which is why you make reference to corners, but you need to quantify this image, otherwise the reader may wonder what corners have to do with your metaphor. Place the term in context in a way that gives perspective, such as:

The squares of social interaction can be greatly effected by the corner of hate. That which exists in this corner often springs from its home into other sectors of life; such as love and support, and tainting it forever.

Also, when you write that lies and hate guarantee growth, it seems like you are uplifting these notions rather than disapproving of them. I like the term "infect" that you use later on. Perhaps instead of "growth" use "spread" or "transmit", as with germs.

Hope that helps!

#1

Guaranteed perpetual growth in society, Prejudice, Lies and Hatred spring from one corner, infecting the adjacent sides of Love, Truth and Peace.

#2

I corrected it, below. :)

Prejudice, lies, and hatred are just some of the things that guarantee a perpetual growth in our society. Springing from one corner, they stand a great chance of effecting the adjacent sides than love, truth, and peace.

Good work!

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#3