Question

Question about third person or first person for fiction?

Well, I'm writing a fanfiction story for pretty little liars but I cannot get comfortable in my POV.

Here are two versions of it, 1st & 3rd. Tell me which one you prefer?

THIRD PERSON:

"Hanna? Can you come here for a minute?" Ms. Marin called from the kitchen as Hanna sauntered in the door, soaked from the rain. She kicked off her heels and peeled off her jacket, then headed down the hall.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? I just put the pot on." The coffeepot hissed and dripped in the corner, as if to prove its existence and role in the conversation.

Hanna looked at her mom, who wasn't smiling. Her expression was kind of like the one she'd worn after she'd taken too many Tylenol 3's and started having a heated, emotional argument with the fridge. "What's wrong?"

Her mind started searching for what could possibly be wrong now, and she immediately found the answer: Ms. Marin lost her job. They were broke. Things have been tight lately, but she didn't figure it was that bad.

"On second thought, maybe I will have some coffee." She stated as she walked around the island. "Do we still have that fabulous vanilla cream?"

"No. You drank it all. Listen, Hanna, sit down a minute."

Hanna stared at her mother for a few seconds with a doe eyed expression, and then sank into a stool.

"Have you talked with your father recently?"

"No, why?" She was puzzled.

"I got pulled into a meeting a few days ago."

She nodded, still confused. What did that have to do with her pathetic excuse for a father?

"Well, I've been asked to go to New York for a 2 month training program. It'll teach me how to find a counterfeit and many other useful things. If I go, I could get a promotion, and Lord knows how much this family needs one right now."

Hanna felt her stomach plunge, but she managed a quiet, "New York?"

--------------------------------------…

FIRST PERSON:

"Hanna? Can you come here for a minute?" My mom called from the kitchen as I sauntered in the door, soaked from the rain. I kicked off my heels and peeled off my jacket, then headed down the hall.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? I just put the pot on." The coffeepot hissed and dripped in the corner, as if to prove its existence and role in the conversation.

I looked at my mom, who wasn't smiling. Her expression was kind of like the one she'd worn after she'd taken too many Tylenol 3's and started having a heated, emotional argument with the fridge. "What's wrong?"

My mind started searching for what could possibly be wrong now, and immediately found the answer: she had lost her job. We were broke. Things have been tight lately, but I didn't figure it was that bad.

"On second thought, maybe I will have some coffee." I stated as she walked around the island. "Do we still have that fabulous vanilla cream?"

"No. You drank it all. Listen, Hanna, sit down a minute."

I stared at my mother for a few seconds with a doe eyed expression, and then sank into a stool.

"Have you talked with your father recently?"

"No, why?"

"I got pulled into a meeting a few days ago."

I nodded, still confused. What did that have to do with my pathetic excuse for a father?

"Well, I've been asked to go to New York for a 2 month training program. It'll teach me how to find a counterfeit and many other useful things. If I go, I could get a promotion, and Lord knows how much this family needs one right now."

I felt my stomach plunge, but managed a quiet, "New York?"

--------------------

which do you like best?

Answers

They are both decent pieces of writing. The choice of POV rests with you however, because you are the one who will be setting the tone for this story (as the author of the story). The first person POV gives it a more immediate feeling, allowing the reader to connect directly with the main character. in third person, the narrator remains detached and it feels less subjective. It all depends on what you are trying to communicate.

I personally like the First Person view in this instance.

#1

First person! That is by far my favorite POV, it makes me feel in the story. Just be careful. If your going to do First person, then you need to stay with the tense you choose. Make sure if you have "I say," Then everything is in present form. If you say, "I said." Then all of it should be in past form. I didn't see you make that mistake, but I just want to make sure you stay alert.

#2

I know i always like reading 1st person, but the choice is really yours.

#3

I always use first person because I think it sounds better, and in this case, I think its better :D

Hope it helps :D

#4