I, honestly, loved this poem. I normally expect poems on Answers to suck but... Yours surprised me. It's got a normal meter (besides a few lines where it actually adds an effect) and it uses allusions, symbols, and motifs. I think whoever the woman in it is should be flattered, I wish someone'd write a poem like that for me. It's beautiful. =) And I'm not one to say that about much.
Hmmm sounds more like a story! Sorry but im honest!
The beginning flows well and I think the language is eloquent. However from "Time no longer was our invincible enemy" on it seems a little bit forced. Just shifting the words around a little would definitely help.
I really like this !I understand what it is about completely , &I love how it is free verse. If you are telling a story in your poem, you may want a conclusion ¬ let the readers wonder. But other than that I think it is very good ! Do you think you can answer my question ? PLEASE !Thanks (;