Question

Sex and cheating. Need help?

Cutting a VERY long story short; i cheated on my boyfriend. My best friend told him. We decided to work on our relationship and try again. We continued woth our sex life, and the first few times it was amazing, but outside of this he admitted he was becoming less affectionate and less patient with me. We went through a VERY rough patch, arguing a lot, yet still having sex as before. He becomes less and less hopeful for our relationship, telling me he loves me and wants me, but cannot see a future and cannot imagine ever trusting me again. Our exact words were; 'This is it, isnt it..' 'Yes. There's nothing left'.

He then broke it off but has asked to take me to the cinema in a few days time. This transition all happened over a few weeks.

Whats happened? do you think its really over this time? Do you think i can say anything to make things better? Why, the same night he told me he thinks having sex can bring us closer, did he break things off? How's he feeling?

Answers

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Maybe he just felt out of control and sex was the one aspect he could control. He tried to trust you again, and tried to have the same feelings but those are a little harder to control. He sounds like he was really trying. And since sex isnt the problem, obviously, maybe its time to just spend time with him as friends and try to build that trust back. Unless sex was always the foundation of your relationship, then you need to try and see if you can rebuild whatever that foundation was. If he would agree.

#1

so I'm not going to be rude like everyone else, but you shouldn't have cheated, though sometimes it takes a situation like this for future learning experiences, or to find out what you really lost,wich could build emotional character. the truth is men can separate sex from love. he can still have sex with you because he is physically attracted to you, however, he cannot trust you, and truthfully probably never will. it is best to let this one go, because it will be on the back of his mind for at least 2-3 years, an depending on how long you've ben together the trust issues and insecurities may not be worth it.sorry.

#2

He should have dumped you right away. If he takes you back he's a tool. How hard is it to keep your legs closed?

#3

Sounds like he wants to be a f-buddy and friend.

#4

i cannot say this without sounding like a dick but i will just say it flat out and hopefully you will not be offended. he is using you for sex.

#5

Sex and cheating? As opposed to what, sandwiches and cheating? Seems a bit redundant to me.

#6

I must agree with Steve W. Cheating is lower than dirt. If you feel the need to cheat, you obviously don't care enough about the person you're with, so you might as well dump them.

#7

No offense but, you cheated.....he will never be happy as he used to be. It will always be in hs mind...I don't think there's a "long-term" chance. Call it quits and start all over with someone else. Let him do the same. Good-luck.

#8