Question

Can I end it now or wait until xmas is over?

My partner and I have been having relationship problems for about one year now. He moved out one month ago and we agreed to try going back to just dating to see how things go.

However, I know 100% that its just not going to work. I don't love him anymore (in that way) although he is still my best friend and cant bear hurting him. Even when he has been staying over he stays in the spare room, we haven't slept together for 4 month now. The point is I jut don't think I can go through christmas putting this pretence on, I can barely let him hold my hand. We are supposed to be spending xmas with his family but really don't think I can go thought with it anymore but can I really put an end to things just before xmas? I would feel terrible doing that to him.

Really don't know what to do :-(((

Answers

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End it now. Especially if you are meant to spend Christmas with his family. His family and him could think you were very hypocritical to put on a "fun, happy" face over the Christmas period if you knew you didn't love him any more, especially if you can't even bear to hold his hand.

Just end it now, arrange something with your own family & friends over Christmas and possibly talk in the New Year.

I just broke up with my partner and I am pleased that I did, I wouldn't have wanted to spend Christmas living a lie, because I knew I didn't love him.

Good luck whatever you do.

#1

just end it

it will hurt him whenever you do it

btw xmas is the best time to pull so maybe you will both get lucky and meet someone else?

#2

Judging from what you've said, he should realise that you two are not going to maintain a relationship, i suppose ending it now would be better rather then letting it go on after christmas as you then have new year, people tend to get close this time of year and as you said, you're barely comfortable holding hands with him. Let him down gently, make sure he knows that you still care about him and want to remain friends, you will feel terrible for doing this but as an old saying goes "you have to be cruel to be kind". you'd be doing both of you a favour by ending it. He may well want to be with his family after you break up with him so just let things die down a bit

#3

ok so lets say you go through the motions - get through holidays and then break up - is he going to feel any worse if you do that - than if you just break up now? I would guess that your friendship will be gone for a while - but if he is truly a friend that may be repaired eventually - however leading him on to think it might be better - I think will make your friendship not repairable. If he is that good of a friend - you owe him some honesty.

But I will ask you this? Many times folks thing that relationships are all bells and whistles all the time - so if that is your expectation you need to learn to value the quiet times.

If you know you are going to end it - end it now.

#4

I would say absolutely yes, it would be terrible of you to engage in the girlfriend routine and play the role of happy girlfriend to him and his family. By partaking in christmas you also might be misleading him as to your intentions thinkking that your starting to come around again and make the breakup after christmas even worse which will make the most depressing months of the year terrible (Jan-Feb). If you break up with him now alot of his family will be there to support him and will make you look like a bad guy but you want what you want, so dont do it just to make yourself look better. Besides you do it right after you'll look like an even bigger ***** and a liar for faking to his family.

#5

just tell him

#6

just explain this. he will be disappointed but he has more time to move on and find someone else

#7

no don't do that but sure you can come up with another excuse so you don't have to be together all the time

#8