Question

Why am I like this? Is there something wrong with me?

I'm a 16 year old guy, 17 in two months, and i'm also a proud virgin. I have many friends and I'm also categorised by the girls in my school as "hot" and i'm also told i'm funny, sweet etc etc. However, I don't drink alcohol; Not because I'm scared of the consequences, but instead because I just literally hate the taste of it. I go out regularly but due to this, I rarely go out to events that involve drinking because I feel uncomfortable with everyone around me drinking, not even to mention the peer pressure. Every time that I do make the effort to go out to parties and things, I consistently without fail, get called a killjoy, party-pooper, a pu-ssy for not drinking, and most annoying, a boring _____. The word changes often so there is no point identifying a single one.

I also do not smoke, or take any drugs of any kind, or even plan too. In addition, with regards to girls, I choose not to have one at the moment because out of all the girls I know, none of them are genuine, intelligent, down-to-earth or even attractive to me, and unlike most, I will not be loosing my virginity until I am in a stable relationship where there is mutual love and compassion for one another. Moreover, I get abuse from the majority of my friends because I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't have a girlfriend....If you were looking at me from the outside you would think i'm some kinda depressed loner.

Please tell me if something is wrong with me, It's gotten to a point where I really enjoy spending time by myself instead of going out with friends that are ignorant and purely just irritating and due to this I am loosing valuable friendships. Should I become like the others? I feel like i'm missing out and i'm loosing friends because of it. Should I change the way I am? I do enjoy spending time with my friends so I do make effort and I go out and I pick up a non-alcoholic drink or whatever so I can still be in their presence but I constantly get lots of abuse for not drinking, being boring and being a *pu-ssy.* They say I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or have a girlfriend and because of that i'm boring and depressed. I feel like I have valid reasons for all that I have just stated but they dismiss this. Thanks to who ever takes time out to read this, you're comments will be greatly appreciated :).

Answers

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First of all, I'd like to applaud you. You are a fantastic human being, with morals, and I have a tonne of respect towards you and others like you.

So anyway, there's nothing wrong with you at all. The only thing that *could* be considered wrong is the drinking. And that's fine, in my opinion. You are NOT boring because you don't drink. Like you've said, you just don't enjoy the taste of alcohol. For people to accuse you of being boring based on your tastes is ridiculous and they're idiots for doing so. Some people don't like seafood, does that make them dull loners? NO.

I would maybe suggest joining in with the drinking, if you don't mind too much. Maybe if you just tried to drink a little bit, you might aquire a taste for the stuff. Or perhaps you could sample lots of different drinks and see if there's anything you do like. Over time your tastes could change. Obviously though, if you hate drink, then you hate drink. The benefits of your tastes probably outweight the negatives.

I think you should try to maintain friendships by continuing to spend time with them. Even if that means people are going to put you down because you're "boring" and don't drink/drug/sex/etc. It's important to make the effort to keep your friends. You should also try suggesting other things to do. Hopefully though, there's already an alternative thing that you do together. If so, try and do this more often, and that should help keep you guys close.

I don't know what else to suggest :) but remember you are NOT a boring person, and that you're actually very admirable and by the sounds of things a perfect man who'll be great boyfriend and husband material once you feel that the time is right!

#1

I have been in that situation before. Don't worry it changes in college, you stil have your partiers,but there are also more goal diven, down to earth types. Its just cause you already grew up,and they think they know better.

The finest sword either endure the hottest flames, or break in the process. It sounds like you are feeling the heat, and are confused why you haven't broken yet.....now you know.

#2

No your not weird i am girl also 16 (nearly 17) i don't go to parties, i rarely drink, don't smoke or do any kink of drugs and yes i am a virgin too. its a lifestyle choice if your friends are saying things like that don't listen you are maturer than they are don't worry. don't change to be like them i think you are better off the way you are. my best advice is don't give in to any kind of peer pressure do what you want and don't change for anyone ever good luck :)

#3

There is nothing wrong with you everyone is different in there own way .You are a intelligent person for not taking drugs ,smoking and drinking .Just be yourself don't change the way you are ,if your friends are making fun of you because of this there not your true friend's if i was you i would just maybe find new friends that will respect you and go by your decisions .But if they are your real friends then discuss the situation with them and maybe they will understand.There will be a girl that will be the same as you and will understand i would personally go out with you , there is no rush into getting a relationship when you have not found the right girl for you .Thanks i hope i have helped ! .

#4

There is nothing at all wrong with you. I do think that the folks you think are your friends are becoming only aquaintances as you seem to be quite uncomfortable in their company and they in yours. You need to branch into new settings/pastimes/places that do not contain said vices that so many people now apply to themselves. When you find such places you will find people who like yourself do not indulge in the things you so obviously detest. There are tons of folks out there who dont drink alco, smoke and take dope. The problem could be an age group thing or religous beliefs, that you may find could maybe be another barrier for you.

#5

No there is nothing wrong with you at all. Honestly, if I could be in an enviroment like you I would. All my friend drink, smoke, do drugs and I dont. The only thing I have done is drank with friends... But, its hard being around that enviroment when everyone else does it because a side of you wants to do it and the other side wants to stay away. I would stay away... it in your best interest because that will save you alot of problems when you get older... just stay away... tell them to call you a pu-ssy. tell them to call you whatever because your not gonna runin your life by doing thos things.

hope that helped(:

good luck!(:

#6

No no thing is wrong with you! You're doing the right thing! You're just more mature than your '"friends". You might loose popularity or whatever but it really doesn't matter. You are just making good decisions! I would advise to maybe meet some other people, see if they're better than you're friends now. OR you can just do other stuff with your friends maybe things that aren't around alcohol, drugs etc.

Hope my advice helps!

#7

There is nothing wrong with you for doing the right things i.e by saying 'NO' to drug, alcohol and ladies.. I advice you not to succumb to peer pressure rather be a shinning example and try to mingle with friends with same drink-drug-ladies-free ideology as you.. I commend your stand and I see greatness in your path..

#8