Is my ex being unfair now he is finally divorced? I behaved so decently and yet I am the one now alone!?

I dated a guy who was separated, in 2008 and 2009 = 2 years. They lived in the same house which had 5 bedrooms. No kids.

They had been married 14 years and the marriage was over in all but name only, but he had not yet filed for divorce as she threatened suicide. At the time I met him he was 35 and she was 28.

She found out about us in 2009 (which was what made him want to try again) and went crazy - threatened to kill me and herself. I stepped back and let him work it out with her. Though, I was totally heartbroken and could not function for a good 6 months.

He was so selfish and kept contacting me during this time they were "working on the marriage". I changed my number but he kept turning up at my work. He is a mailman so I could not stop him as he said he was there on business, and swapped shift with whichever mailman was allocated to my company.

I did my best to block him out but he persisted and made sure he was fresh in my mind.

2010 he was totally quiet - just fell off the radar. I was relieved and even managed to finally date again.

2011 he came to find me, to my horror - and told me he was now divorced and wanted to see me again. I was dating someone and told him, but that new guy did not work out, and my ex kept calling.

Because it hadn't worked with thr new guy, I am afraid I responded to my ex's continued calls. I then told him I would NOT be 2nd best this time....I wanted a proper relationship. At first he agreed.

However NOW he has said sorry but he wants to have fun and play around, and will never commit to me.

I am furious. I worked SO hard to forget him, he kept chipping at me, he then gave me false hope after the divorce - and now this?

Why would he come back only to do this?

Yes I know - sex - but what would possess a man to play such an awful game? I always play fair, and I might as well STOP bothering because I'm now 36 and still single because I always step back and get stepped on, e.g. would never touch another woman's man, yet other women I know have taken other women's men and are now living very happily indeed!


Well he is being unfair but that's up to him, and he never made you any promises.

Move on and find someone worthy of your attention. He isn't it.


Seperated is not divorced so you still did date a married man and other women who take women's men are not happy they just want you to think they are happy but behind closed doors you have no idea what goes on in their home life. Take it as a lesson learned to date completely single men and understand the grass is not always greener just because it looks like that now.