I tried to kill my hamster, i feel horrible, and intrusive thoughts?

well when i was like in 4th or 5th grade i tried to kill my pet hamster. my friend and i wanted matching hamsters and my mom said i could only get another one once my old one died. my friend somehow convinced me to put salt in his water. i'm pretty sure it was her idea, but i don't remember too many details. i feel so bad about it, and i know it was a terrible, wrong thing to do. i'm thinking back and i feel horrible! i wish i hadn't. please don't leave mean answers or comments. i don't know, i just feel so bad. it's creepy. so yeah...could you maybe give me some input?

also, when i'm really stressed out or sometimes randomly, i'll get these gross, creepy, or plain weird thoughts. they seem to come out of nowhere and just pop into my head. i read this article and i think they're called taboo thoughts. and the article said it happens to most people and it's human nature. well i got a thought about how easily i could smother or kill my dog, toby. i have no intention of wanting to do anything like that! the thought just passed through my mind that his life is so fragile. i got so angry at myself when that thought even came into my head! i'm stressing out about all of it and the fact about my hamster makes it worse. i never want to hurt anybody and i just kind of want some reassurance that i'm ok or that it's human nature. i'm very creative and that might be a reason? also, the media might play into why these thoughts pop into my head. i'm just stressing out so much and i need to stop so i wont be all ocd. sorry this was so long, and thanks for all the answers!

articles that might help you understand my situation:

(i don't think i have ocd but i'm worrying myself a lot)

thanks again!


It's perfectly normal to have thoughts like that pass through your mind at intervals throughout your life. It's when the thoughts won't go away, or you feel tempted to act on them, that there is a problem.

Also, young children often go through fazes of destruction and violence, so it is no surprise that you (as a child) attempted morbid actions on a fuzzy creature. Thankfully, you did not go through with your plan (as most children don't in the end) and your hamster was not harmed. You shouldn't feel too guilty about it now, because in the end you didn't actually kill your hammy, and you owned up to what you did. You feel bad, and that's okay, but you shouldn't obsess over your childhood morals, and should try to look back on your hamster owning experience with a smile. Try to focus on the good memories. You'll do fine.

As for the dog, if the thought was merely of how fragile his life is, and how much power you have over him, then there is no need to really worry. Just spend some good quality play time with him, and vocalize your love for him often. Soon, the thoughts should dissipate and you should not feel obligated to linger in the past and detest yourself for what you almost did.

All in all, it most certainly is normal, and you shouldn't worry about it too much. Just go about your daily routine, and if you notice that you can't get the thoughts out of your head or you feel the urge to act on the thoughts, you should immediately tell your parents or a teacher. Good luck to you!


I feel the same way. Once i caught a frog this year and i went out side and threw it on the hard cement a couple of times and then it died. I feel like such a killer and i feel so bad about it.Over the days after i would watch it bake in the sun with no emotion. Its good to know that that kinda stuff comes over other people.


yes, she was a bad influence on you. I hate those thoughts that just wont get out of your head and you keep coming back to think about it, its awful, but i just tell myself to shut up and stop thinking about it because, you cant change the past whats done is done, and its time to move on, lesson well learned. The mistakes you make in life make you stronger everyday and I know you feel bad about it but just tell your head to shut up, and move on. It's gonna be ok


im sorry to hear about that ask ur mom or dad and ur doctor u might have some problems that need help


It was years ago :) The main thing is you had the heart to poured the salt water out and get it fresh water <3