You want to know a secret? You are doing so much more than people who want things. You are doing what he wants the most of from you. You are turning towards him. He loves you and you are asking him for help because you are helpless. That is the secret. Raising your hands up high to make a dua, you are trying to help yourself and he knows the condition of your heart. He's there for you, comforting you in ways you can't yet comprehend. Have patience dear sister. Allah is with you, he loves you.
I already know your story,from your other Q's.
I just did salah and I made dua for you.
Dua and Patience , always keep it that way
Read this Hadith hope it helps
Abo Dawod narrates : [In the verse: (You yourself)] but command good and forbade evil even if you see a miserliness obeyed, vagary followed and everyone has an opinion likes his opinion , you be yourself and let others , there are the day of patience behind you , the patience is like getting hold of hot coals , the reward of one worker of them is fifty other men work like he works , [and added others] , he said [Abo Thalaba] "Messenger of Allah , reward of fifty of them ?" , Mohamed (s) replied : the reward of fifty of you.
Sister , wouldn't you like to be rewarded 50 double others like Sahaba ?
Like Mohamed(s) 's friends !
Yes you should do so many things differently. God doesn't make your life miserable as Allah does. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. He takes your burdens because the load is light for Him and really heavy for you. You need to learn about God and follow Him. Tell God you are a sinner and ready to accept His amazing gift of Salvation. Thank Him for sending Jesus to save us all. Start fresh and finally let God into your life. He's been waiting. God will let you know that Islam is not from Him.
Give yourself time. I don't know but it sound like relationship stuff to me. Some days you'll feel good and other days it will suck Make dua, pray and allow yourself to grieve. Get out there and live take up some activities you enjoy and keep yourself busy. If it is meant to be Allah will make a way.