This is to the guy that I went out of my way to get noticed by The one who I trusted, the one who told me lies The one who made me feel like I was the only one The one that was through with me when the sex was done. The one that made me feel like I was impossible to love The one who called me over when he just wanted to bust The one that made it clear I'm not the girl he wanted me to be I tried and I failed so this is my apology
This is to the one who gave me life the one that gave me birth The one who complains and looks at me like I'm the worst thing on the earth. The one who emotionally beats me down The one whose suppose to lift me up from the ground The one whose suppose to bring to my face nothing but smiles and laughs The one who brings everything that is the opposite of that The one who constantly compares me to others The one who makes it so difficult to love her The one who says I'm not the daughter she expected me to be. I understand that and this is my apology
This is to the sick bastard that crept into my room The one who gave me those thoughts of ending it soon. The one who lied and said I was crazy in the head. The one who had denied creeping into my bed The one who left me scarred for life The one who is responsible for my silent cries at night. The one who says I've changed his life Cause I've caused problems between him and his wife The one who said I should have kept quiet, I should have just let things be. He's right, nothing positive came from it, so this is my apology.
This is to my friends that say I do nothing but bitch and complain The ones who left because they say I've changed The ones who didn't stick around in my time of need The ones who gave me more of a reason to grieve I understand I'm not that girl I use to be And for that this is my apology.
This is to the girl with the low self esteem The girl who cries so terribly The one with the forced and fake smile The one who hasn't been happy for a while The one whose afraid to trust any man The one whose afraid to let any one in The one whose past up many chances at love Because she finds people hard to trust That one that was robed of her purity and self-esteem This is to the girl I'm embarrassed to be This is my apology, to me.
- by Jazmin Hall58
So angry The feeling of betrayal Suffocating my senses A thousand attempts Is a thousand failures Only expect everything less Hope A distant aspiration Darkness A promising relaxation Muffled screams And stifled cries Never wish hello Always curse goodbyes This feeling in my chest Is no longer just a feeling Born in the darkness Nursed by the pain Raised by the injustice It courses through my veins And pollutes every thought And murders every dream No mercy for the innocent No care for the naive Pure worship for the ignorant Sacrifices of the soul Piece by chunk, its chipped away My hearts no longer whole Don't try and tell me its okay Cuz you'll be lying to my face All hopes and dreams All laughs and smiles Have all been washed away. No love, no loss No hope, no tears Plain and simple, you see No tries, no fails No lies, no tales... Still alive, but barely breathing
~August 9, 2010 @3:13 pm
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