I didn't ask to be born It just happened I wasn't planned I was almost abandoned
Was I meant to be? Or not meant to be Was I just an accident?
I shouldn't be contemplating these things I can't help it
These doubtful thoughts rush through my head When all I want Is to go to bed It's the only place I can rest Where I'm not treated like a pest
No one notices that I am trapped inside Screaming yet no one hears Where I have lost all of my pride Hiding behind a smile and 16 years
Destroyed by man's words As each tear falls My heart breaks into thirds
I build up my walls I try to stay positive Ignoring the fear that calls and calls
It doesn't last long It never does I make a mistake This makes everything wrong
I didn't ask to be born But now I have to pay You yell and scream I always listen to what you say Is it too much to ask that you do the same?
You blame me for things I've never done You always comment I'll turn out just like my mum
But I'll never turn out like her She's never around She's never here She's just a blur Does she even care?
You make assumptions that are never true You don't understand
What have I ever done to you?
Everything around turns to grey As colour slowly fades away I stand there with a necklace made of rope Wondering if there will ever be hope
But I always seem to stop at that step I convince myself it'll be alright I know I will never be the world rep for always being right
I wish that I could make up my mind But there is something holding me back As if I've been entwined Marked and defined
I look outside and see the trees The birds flying with the breeze
Why can't life be like that? Not so hard Somewhere you don't fall flat
I try to fight back tears Trying to find a reason for all these years
I feel like I'm all alone
But God looked down from heaven's gates And saved me from those terrible fates
Clean of my emptiness
- by Emily58
Off to the emptiness where I am widely invited. I do hope loneliness will consume my soul.
Away the hurt will go. No more aches because the dulling numbness, will take away my feel.
Stretching long and far is my path, leading to a place hoarding the lowest of lows.
One more companion to guide my way. I do hope He doesn't shun my choice.
Crawling through the years, peaking upwards through the vents, I see the world as it is.
To people pay no attention the reflection I see. Only showing dirt, hopelessness, and debris.
Alas they only see what is shown to them. No second glance of reconsideration.
Warmth and comfort, turn to foreign concepts. Taking their place, hurt and sorrow.
What will become of my murky reflection, Tainted? Stained? Forgotten.
Would it be easier, to just accept? Skip the pain right to the killing.
Tear off the leftover shreds of my feelings. Plunge into darkness, hopefully to resurface,
Clean of my emptiness.
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