Behind your shadow, I stand and fall. It's a tough battle, In which I feel so small. My feelings toward you you might think are dumb. Sad, upset, confused, angry, hurt, and numb. When I needed a mom, you were not there to talk about boys or to fix my hair. Yes, you did call, every once and a while, but an ocean of tears hides behind this smile. Tormented, trapped, and torn, my heart says I feel. Seven years after I was born my heart won't start to heal. I see other girls laugh with their moms, I go dizzy with swirls, and crash like a bomb. The anger in me rages in fright, always staying angry, I just think I might. Time heals everything, I don't think that's true, I know something time did not do. Time has been flying. For a long while I've always been trying to show a real smile. One thing that hurts, and I don't know why, you moved far away, and it makes me cry. When I think about this, to myself I lie, I've gotten over you, that I would not try. You are a mother, a mother of two, me and my brother. We hardly know you. Every night I think of how my life could've been, tears run down my face, and my world starts to spin. These past few years have been really hard. For the rest of my life I'll be severely scarred. It took me time to realize what you did to me. Tears in my eyes, and you're clueless it seems. I try to be brave, it really hurts. You could've stayed, instead of making it worse. I want you to know this, it's sad but it's true, you hurt your little girl, and your little boy too! You ruined me, you made me cry, you really hurt me, and to laugh I try. There is a hole in my heart the doctors don't see. I guess they don't know what my mommy did to me. If you want me back, you have to prove you can be a mom to me and Andre, too! When I screamed for you, did you hear a sound? I guess you didn't, because you were never around. I will tell you something you cannot forget, once you hurt your kids, it will soon come to regret.
A grieving daughter
- by Ebony Angel B.58
She told her daughter she hated her and wished she was never born. She didn't even seem to care that the child's heart was torn. She blamed child for all of her heartache and pain. Did she realize emotional abuse can drive a child insane. She said her child was the reason she never achieved her dreams. Those words hurt her child more than to her they may have seemed. All her daughter wanted was her love and her affection. But all she ever got was her mother's constant rejection, Feeling like a lost child with no one to love. She prayed to be taken away to the heavens above, Not knowing why she just wasn't good enough. Why, when she needed gentleness, was she treated so rough. Wondering why her existence caused her mother so much pain, Longing for her mother's love she probably would never gain. Wanting her mother to tell her she was a blessing, That she was not the reason for her mother's stressing. If there is a little girl out there that feels this way, Just know you are one of GOD's Angels, and he loves you more each day.
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