I can see it in his eyes when he comes creeping in. He's been somewhere he promised me he'd never go again. He thinks that I won't know it. He thinks that I can't tell. But he forgets how many times he's put me through this hell. The deceit is never-ending. The betrayal . Silly lies. How can he even sit there and look me in the eyes? I've cried so many tears. I feel so all alone. He's sitting right beside me, but he's not really home. This drug has taken over him. It's eating up his soul. It's made his heart so ugly. Black, like a piece of coal. I try to stand beside him. I try to give him love. I beg him to love me more than it, but I'm not good enough. This burden is so heavy. I cannot tell my friends. I pray to God to help him. I pray it someday ends. Please God hear me praying. Please God help him soon. We have a little baby who thinks he hung the moon. He is just 8 months old and I think it would be sad, If a kid as great as him has to grow up without a dad. But his daddy is slowly dying. Killing himself, without a care. I wish that he could understand that this just isn't fair. I have no happiness anymore. It's killing me as well. We always fight. We never laugh. We only scream and yell. This is our lives he's tearing apart. It's not a funny game. It's destroyed our family, and killed our love. Because he loves "Cocaine".
My mother vs. meth
- by Brittany59
Most days I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, I want my mother back who is this monster you have become?
I really haven't known who you are for quite a while, But I try to act tough so I force this fake smile.
You love someone else way more than me, Her name is Crystal Meth and I don't think she'll ever set you free.
She's had you in her hands for about 10 years, But all of those years are nothing compared to my fear.
Fear of you lying Fear of you dying Fear of having so much faith in you and just being left crying.
You wrote me letters from prison and promised the sky, More than 3 years later and nothing but lies.
Nothing but heartache, pain, and misery... I GET IT NOW, you choose her over me.
You've told me to my face that it was drugs over me, Even that wasn't enough to make me see.
Today you will tell me that you are clean You give me so much hope, then tomorrow it's the same ole' dope phen.
I'm telling you now that I am through with you This comes from my heart and every word of it's true.
I can't promise that I will be around to see But when you get tired of that meth you will see All along you had something way better And it was your family
I do thank you so much for one thing Thank you for showing me how important a good mother should be. And to never show my children the pain that you showed me.
So, today I officially set myself free. Because I know there's a stronger woman in me.
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