Standing in self-hatred, drowning in my tears. Looking back on my life, what I've been through the past 18 years. Living in my brother's shadow, everything I do and say, wishing somehow things would change, praying for a way. Same old crap just another day, living this evil life that was created just for me. Starving for love, affection, and attention, I know none of this is how it's really supposed to be. I try to be strong, even though I feel so weak. Feel like just giving up, but I won't accept that level of defeat. Pretend like I'm always happy, although I'm never really okay. Waiting for this pain to end, that I feel every stupid day. It's hard to say what's wrong, when nothings going right. Hard to keep myself going, when I've been blinded by sight. This pain is never ending, it just goes on and on and on. It's all so unbelievably real, I just wish it all was gone. Trying to pick myself up, when I've fallen so far and hard. But I don't know where I'm going, It's all so very dark. My heart is weak, my emotions sore, I do my best to never let it show. But deep down inside I feel like, I'm dying and nobody knows. A lot of messed up thoughts, run through my head constantly. I just wish I didn't live, this life of MISERY!
Written by: Katrina Randklev 2007-2008
- by Krystal A. Bayer58
Dear Mom, You said you'd always be there But you're nowhere to be found I can't believe you left me I feel so low beneath the ground
There's nothing I can do now I trusted you with all my heart But now you're gone You're the one who tore my life apart
I've learned not to trust There's nothing more to say You've lost someone special You can't get back each day
Now you're the one left in the dark And all of a sudden you feel my pain You expect me to take you back But you still feel you're not to blame
I could never forgive you Even if I tried You can never make up For the lonely nights I've cried
You will never know the feeling Of losing the person you need the most To laugh and cry and love you Instead of making you feel like a ghost
I've moved on with my life Without you by my side My pain has kept so long I'm telling you how I feel inside
In a way I want to thank you Because of you I'm strong I just wanted you to know I didn't turn out wrong
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