How to create the perfect family
- by Katy 59You will need:
1 large house
3-6 people, depending on how long you want to wait for it to be done
3 cups of pets
2 cups of patience
3 ounces of anger/frustration
3 quarts of laughter
4 teaspoons of trust
And last but definitely not least,
Lots and lots of love
First, open the house, and make sure that it will be the right size for your family. Mix the desired amount of people with the pets, carefully so you don't damage them. In a separate bowl, stir the love and laughter together. Set aside. Taking each person separately, evenly distribute the patience and trust, making sure that each one gets an equal amount (Failure to distribute evenly may lead to different recipe! See recipe for "My impatient family" for details…). Carefully open the bottle of anger/frustration. Using a Q-tip, dab small portions of the anger/frustration onto each person. Lastly, take the love and laughter and sprinkle it all over the house, pets, and people. Let sit until all parts of the recipe are thoroughly combined, and voila! Your Perfect Family is complete.
Best of brands
- by Nicola Hanney 58Get that nit comb through those strands,
This lice lotion best of brands,
Nought point nought between the prongs,
Not short hair, but two foot long.
Look, they're dying, I think we're winning,
Eyes all bloodshot, red and stinging.
Don't be silly, don't start to whine,
Mummy's got to be cruel to be kind.
Crisis over! What do you think?
Still got to get rid of that terrible stink.
Back to school, back to civilization.
Ready to pick up another infestation!
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